Chicago! holy cow the last few days have been crazy... crazy! So much info, so much life, so much to do and learn. The experiences, the emotions, how people function and live life in this city makes my head spin in the moment.
It's felt like a battle to keep the things that i've known were true, the quiet moments are filled with simply trying to keep the head above water, trying to sift through emotions, life. trying to let go of so many things that i left back in Seattle, people, music, life :) well you know what i mean... i know i'm being sappy. But it's crazy! being here with people i met for the first time and then am expected to dive into life with them. Something that i should love, and i do love but i do miss conversations or the option to jump in the car and go grab coffee :)
This place needs so much love. So much Jesus. I'm letting go. giving up my heart's desires, my cravings because somewhere in the deepest part of me i know this is right.... I love my Jesus... I don't know. Tonight, working through Prayer Tour things, giving directions, explaining, rehearsing, all of it is putting me on my face with Jesus. Forcing me to let me go of my strong grip. I wonder why i can't seem to let go, even though i know i let go. I remember standing there and Jesus asking me too...
OH good grief! i can't believe that i've even given it the time of day... Nicole get over yourself .
I'm here. Here for a reason and wouldn't have it any other way.
Learning how to adjust. :) with nothing else to hold onto expect my Papa. It's beautiful here, the people are a blessing, growing...Daddy. I love You.
thank you for chicago, for bringing me here, for the past memories, the late nights, music, life, laughing. I can't wait to see what is to come. :)
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