My roommate leaves in a day and half.... pure stupidness. :)
I've looked at the pictures we've taken over the past month - ish and it makes me realize how much i will miss this woman. She has been inspiring, encouraging, and a pure example of the love of Jesus. In the most desperate moments for something to satisfy she was there, a conversation that left my soul satisfied in many ways. Jesus knew what i was going to need this spring and it was a beautiful lady from Mississippi. This last week has been a cherished one. One of dream sharing, laughing, and serving alongside each other. Simply being in community, living life together.

To think of this season of a passing one, there will never be another like it. This is good, right. Sitting here and thinking about how much we've grown, changed, heard our Papa's heartbeat. We've let go of things, let go of life, what we thought we were going to do in the future, what life was going to look life, it was a stripping season in many ways. painful yes, incredible yes.
I wonder what is to come. the moments. the exhausting days of hosting. Trip home. Who i will talk to and what Jesus will orchestrate. I'm almost scared to go home and really see. to see what is to come. i don't want to speak things, don't want to simply go because it's what seems like common sense, i want it to be right. I want to love, to sit and rest at peace, to not just go home so that i can tell the "crazy" stories. .... ok sorry bunny trail

Why is my roommate moving to Nashville? please tell me why?

I despise going through the motions. Saying things that i've said about a gillion times and watching it affect people. Seeing the same incredible ministry sites with the same people walking through the constant pattern of poverty and misery every day, some declining as the days go on, others getting jobs and putting their lives back together. It's hard to say who will do this or if more than one here and there will actually make it out, so the pattern continues...

A few nights ago a good friend of mine played her first show with her band. Jesus and i had to work through some things, my own frustrations with being here, without some people i cherish, without music, only seeing the broken parts of this city. People fighting but fighting for something different. I was pouting, missing people with piercings, skinny jeans, and the desire to unite for this crazy thing called music (haha silly and pathetic i know.). I was wonderfully reminded by Him that He is soverign, He brought me here, He's allowed me to see people, to have conversations, to be broken, to cherish. ouch. How could i be so incredible selfish and territorial of people who are His, Those people are friends, are people i love because of Jesus and only Jesus. I need to let go, let the death grip i have on a life back in Washington be loosed. I love the homeless, i love the poor and left out; but man do i love the hipsters, the kids who hit up shows every chance they get, the musicians who tour, love the dreamers, the artists. I can't explain it but i cherish the conversations, the moments to encounter Jesus with them, the late night coffee conversations and uniting over the love for this one thing. I'm craving it, the dreamers who do what they love because it's who they are and they can't imagine anything different.
This city has so much of both. so much of the broken but so much of the people who are broken in a different way. Chicago you're growing on me. I want things, long to have conversations with people i love, miss crazy road trips with cherished friends, want those coffee conversations that Jesus has allowed me to love. But most of all. I want Jesus, to be so close to His heart that nothing else matters. That His heartbeat is the only thing i hear, what i wake up to and the last thing i hear before i sleep. To see people as He sees them. It's scary sometimes to wonder what is next but to have a negative attitude about being here, counting down seconds till i get to go home would not be all that Jesus has.... and He's let me know how stupid those thoughts really are... Jesus gave me those friends, those times and He's not just going to rip people He's allowed for me to be with away from me just because.
I adore every second of being here. The people. the life. It's right, It's good, and healthy. ahhh man, i cherish this time. What Jesus is doing in the moments, even the times when i feel as though i want to pack up and leave. Every second, this is life, lets cherish it. savor every minute that we are given because HE loves us, He doesn't care about anything else but us and the life we are living with Him.