who ever said it was fun to go on an unchartered adventure??? oooo pick me!!! :)

I thought I had a great way of starting my thoughts tonight.. haha and i get here, to this place and all i want i desire is to do sleep... One of my dear friends, Kecia has been wanting me to describe this new place that i'm in. The people, the surroundings, and honestly... i got nothin, no exciting stories, no crazy adventures, no crazy homeless stories. Just me, Jesus, a Spirit filled church, some amazing room mates, and a city... that seems to have no other person with their septum pierced and a large amount of older people who stare at is as if it had blinking red lights on the balls of my ring. :) haha ok maybe a little bit of exaggeration there :)
things are good, life is wonderful... hard to grasp sometimes, to realize that i'm in this place, completely broke with nothing more than a calling of Jesus saying that He would take care of me, and His provision has been more than i could as for already. He knows my need and my every heart's desire and craving and i believe that this summer there's going to be more to it than just working and scraping by. Believe that there's something truly extraordinary around the corner, the presents and surprises that my Jesus is throwing my way every new day, every new minute :)

Honestly, I hated it here the first few days and wanted nothing more than to get back into my car and drive to the safety of my adopted parent's house :) Something kept me here, and something will continue that constant battle to keep me grounded :) I'm not going to give in to the lies of the enemy, my God is bigger and stronger. More sufficient than the greatest job and life. I admit i don't always completely trust in it. But His grace is more than an ocean that gobbles me up in it. a warm blanket surrounds me and pulls me out of the ruins. There's got to be more to it than this? what's under the surface of this city that is so desperately in need of a Savior?
so all of that to say, i'm good. life will continue as normal. i have an interview tomorrow! praise Jesus. i believe He will provide :) please pray if you get the chance.... I am going to be spending my share of time in Ashland over this week and weekend! woo hooo! can not wait!! i miss all of my Washington family. more than anything. but look forward to praying for you each day, remembering the great times we've had, and the excited to tell you all our Jesus has done as the days go by! thank you for believing in me and sending me forth! I love you so very very much!

Here's a little something to leave you with tonight... i believe that Jesus is going to really start speaking to each of our hearts in a new way! so get ready!!! :

Where can I go Precious Lord
Courageous Savior?
Where all else fades away, the desperate cries of a nation broken, lost, and burning with an unquenchable fire and question of truth.

Jesus, do You see the broken?
the motherless child who craves attention from every boy she encounters?

By Your perfection, Your graphic, soul scraping display of affections towards us, Your imperfection laden children are perfected. Stripped of the generic, constricting, plastic bubble the world has created for our bodies.

Because Your blood stained sacrifice and perfection You have given less fortunate hope. Future. The freedom and complete Jesus breathed empowerment to dream, to walk through those dreams here on earth. Dreams of Justice. Life. where society rebukes the unwed mother. Love for those who experience nothing but a corrupted version of hope and sacrifice.

That every person will experience and be able to express the unexplainable extravagance of our white clothed bride.

----Good night folks. May Jesus rest on you and your household tonight... Expect the unexplainable :) and don't forget, Our Savior deserves all of the glory!

"Nicole are you pregnant?!" -devyn-

It's crazy to think that this season that i am currently in will be coming to a close very very shortly. That the memories, the laughter, tough conversations, the kids, music. All of it will be a part of my past. It's so bazaar to think that the YC existed and for 10 months it's what we all lived and breathed. the 14 hour days filled with paper work, meetings, conversations, trips to the ER and so on was something that i lived. The kids are real, i see them, the building is still there, carpet and paint on the walls.... all of it seems so long ago, so distant that i could never touch it again. As though that person who was so passionate about those kids is gone and when i look at pictures i don't even know myself. I don't know if i like it, if i'm ok with it.
I miss them. so much. It seems as though i've been saying that a lot lately but i do. I know that when life is shaken up and there's change coming our human tendency is to grab on to things that we truly loved and were stable.
About a week ago i was sitting in a living room with a newer friend. we were talking about homeless and the YC was brought up. I was sitting there, feeling sorry for myself that it had been shut down and then i remembered how much i wanted to share their stories. Wanted people to know the kids as i do, to know their beauty. People see kids who are making poor choices and judge without even stopping to consider the circumstances that put them there. I have failed my kids, i didn't keep up with them, didn't pursue them when the center shrunk. But i do know without a doubt that Jesus is with them, protecting them, guiding their decisions, loving them. To know that puts my heart at rest, to see the pictures of months past and rest in the promise that Jesus said He's got it from here. :)

new seasons, new conversations and journeys. it's a bit scary, the unknown, i feel as though i've taken 10 steps backwards, no home, no permanent job, but a promise from you saying You'll take care of me. Daddy, nothing better than resting curled up in your warm, extravagant, loving arms. Thank you in advance for the miracles that You're going to work and how the path is being laid. I love you more than words can say. Thank you my precious Jesus.