Wishing i could hold them in my arms

With San Fancisco came late night conversations and things that could have never created on my own. Conversations with ladies who were so passionate about people, those destroyed by the world's standards of success. It took a special type of person to fall in love with the people they encountered on a regular day. The little boys laced with fear of guns and gangs, the homeless who's daily joy came from the kind people who fed them soup at night, or the cancer filled body of a woman so desperate to not die alone in a pit of a room. These people, society's lowest are the most incredible. Their stamina to survive, laugh, cry, care about the other people they encounter like them is untouchable.
I couldn't be more grateful to have spent even a short 4 days with the beautiful people in the bay area. I may not be going to back for what i thought or maybe i will? who knows. I know from being there with Him that i won't walk any other way but directly towards His arms of grace. Yes, i have a heart that longs desperately for the beautiful people of the bay but i know my greatest striving is to love people in the place He's got me. I know that seems like a simple concept but when there's a people you fall in love with and you know at some point in your life you will spend time with them, not just visit, everything inside of you conflicts to be back in a place where everyone knows you. I know, i know i will see them again and that in itself makes my heartstrings ring.
Sitting on the floor the second night i was there, talking with the two lovely female city hosts about loving people, the simplicity of looking at people through Jesus glazed eyes, talking about going home to the reality that no one could understand the people we saw and experienced love for, 3 girls, completely transparent and real, expressing struggles and our greatest hearts conflicts and desires. No matter how many times throughout the summer they had to say the same facts about a people or district their heart's bled with compassion for those they knew only Jesus could save. Being in that environment with them, all of us on the same playing field in many ways, being allowed the opportunity to talk and be sincere. I couldn't have asked for a better trip. I wonder what life will be like or where i will stand when i visit or come back to the bay area.
I will serve where ever He calls. I'm excited for the conversations with new friends in Olympia, to love and encourage. Thankful that the curiosity and some of the waiting i had to endure is out of the way. I will gladly sit back and worship with my Jesus. Experience Him and enjoy every second. Fall has officially hit :) i think i'm pretty much gosh darn excited :)

mmm and did i mention i'm enjoying music like never before :) and i'm freaking ok with it? :) haha it think this season is going to be a pretty freaking great one.

hmmm

Tonight was another night of bringing my kids to this new yc except this time they came of their own free will :) something that made me so extremely happy. They're going to be in great hands this year and there is going to be an impact on their lives in a way YC could never have touched. I believe that Jesus is having me hand these beautiful jewels over in sense. So painful yet so beautiful.

I was telling a friend about one of my students tonight, one who owns a special place in my heart and i realized that as i teel these new leaders what to expect they i can only tell them stories about some of these kids, kids that they will never see but i had the incredible honor and privelage of being a part of their lives. They will meet new students, grow comfortable with the street and the kids who call it home. No matter how hard and complicated the situation they're going to work it out by the grace of our Jesus. :)
I love them, in a way i could never describe and am so grateful for the last year. It's crazy to think about how far we've come. I look back and at this time last year had no idea what i signed up for :) i just wanted to love those kids. Burned in my mind will forever be their smiles and the little things like " i love you nicole" when they knew i wasn't happy with them :).. Jesus protect them tonight as they rest their heads, wherever it may be.

i met someone interresting tonight. Someone that left me going 'huh'. Unique, unaffraid, broke through the invisible lines with the kids the first time. I don't quite know what to think but i believe good things will come. Jesus thank you for a new friend tonight.

the city

something about the city that is breath taking beautiful . I can't explain it but it's walls and the Jesus breathed experiences it holds are heart capturing...

i left my heart with an incredible group of people in the bay area, not sure if i'll ever get it back :)