where is their hope?

so here i sit... yet another late night, the stack of work sitting next to me and the book on the other side that i would like to be reading... yet i find myself in another world ;) something far from the task lists and the busyness... i got the amazing opportunity to talk with one of my good friends tonight. To tell here some of the stories the night brought, i guess this is why i find myself here, my heart touched with so much adoration and love for them... these kids, despite the hell that they have been through, the poor choices that they've made, they still pull my heart strings. I wish i could tell their stories to the big CEO's of Microsoft and other companies, wish that people in every state could know about these kids who live in a broken world. They are real, they love, they hate, they beg for attention, but when it all comes down to it, their real people. Sure they've been through a lot but they deserve something real just like the next person. They deserve someone to really pay attention to them. to curl up with them and watch a movie, a parent who isn't going to say, " Hey let's go get drunk together..."
I'm so blessed to have the amazing opportunity to be a part of their lives... It's an amazing opportunity that not many people will get to experience. Getting to love the ones that are close to my Daddy's heart.... the Devyn's and Mia's the ones who crave something more and real in their life. the ones who pierce their lips in the sbucks bathroom, or the boy who chooses to hurt others because he is dying inside... Ahh i couldn't imagine life without this little family God's created for us. They each bring their own flavor to our center, to say the least :) I guess this is all to say that i am so absolutely blessed to have the opportunity to with these kids and staff.. Love the conversations, cherish them, cherish the people... ah i can't even put into words how much i love them, care about them... am crying as i type becaucse i think of the endurance they have, the brokeness that never stops growing... yet, there they are with a great big hug, sometimes angry words :)they always come back, they know there's hope within our doors. i think that they all know deep down inside somewhere, there's more to life, more to reality.

haha to marvel at your beauty.. the things that you place before us like never before. the target card that suddenly has 10 extra dollars on it or the salaries that start to come through for a few more months even though money is no where to be found... Jesus, there's nothing more wonderful, real, satisfying than being near to you. Having you rap your arms around me and tell me to not worry, to walk faithfully without question, to trust you, more than before. You call me to that higher standard, i kick and scream in the spur of the moment... haha sometimes more than you really do want... but you always are there, never failing, even in the things where i wonder where the hope will break through.. and there you are, laughing at me and asking why on earth didn't i really choose to walk your way.. :) thank you for always being there for me, walking me through all of the crazy desires and adventures.. You're more than i could ever have imagined. I will say that 3 years ago i didn't know what you had in store, no idea why you would cause something like that to happen but now Jesus, i'm so grateful for you rescuing me out of the crap. for taking care of me and holding my hair in the down and out moments... You're real, perfect, caring. i love you. i mean that in the most precious, still, adoring way.. i love you. thank you for being near, for never leaving. Cover our kids tonight. Protect and be near to them... Love them.