fraustration

What makes us attracted to someone? what brings us to a place where we feel as though we need that special someone next to us, around us? Why is it that when we get to a place where nothing else matters but being close to your Saviour, the one who is in you and through you and your complete Everything. someone says something and you suddenly can't get him off of your mind. And your thinking behind it isn't completely because you want to talk to him or care about him but it's because your so annoyed that He's there that you want everything to just go away, You want it to just be you and Jesus. I mean come on :) everything was working just fine, we were actually doing pretty great, I didn't want anything but just to be His hands and feet. He's my best friend, my everything and honestly i didn't want anything to come into my life and mess that up. I don't want a distraction, don't want anything to come between what God is doing. Ugh, i don't even want my mind to think about it. It honestly makes me laugh, because i get so fraustrated at the thought of anything happening, even just talking... the person that i enjoyed talking with i suddenly don't want anything to do with.. oh jeez....I'm done, i don't even care... i really honestly don't want to be like this... but i don't want it... i just want to be with Jesus every second and not miss anything that He has... any little bit with Him. I want to see His smile and heart in things... i suppose that nothing would change.
eh, who knows... whatever... i'm going to keep living the way i am, not giving a crap about any of this relationship stuff but knowing that in it's right timing God will bring it along... and i'm not going to worry about any conversation or any time that we spend togther... we are just friends and he's not a threat to what God's doing... and he's a pretty great friend...
if ya think about it, could you please pray that i keep my sanity?
Daddy, i love you.... more than words can say...