i don't get it.. don't understand it. why the freaking f? Jesus, i love you. i'm here to do your work and i will not back down, will not let the lies of the enemy come after me and really hurt me. you are number one, you are everything... i'm sorry for my anger and rage tonight. Please forgive. help me to display your hope and your future.... i hate that i can be so freaking selfish sometimes, that in this midst of all this pain, i wish that there was someone i could curl up in his arms and everything would be ok, even just for a little bit... i hate that i'm selfish enough to long for this knowing my kids pain and the lack of anything like this in their life. So freaking sick of everything, of parents who don't give a crap about their kids, sick of kids who are hurting and thinking about commiting suicide by the time their 30. it shouldn't be like this... Freaking satan. how could you possibly find satisfaction from hurting beautiful people, how could it possibly make you happy to lead a beautiful 15 year old to cut herself because the pain has become to much. why the hell would you wisper lies in their ears that destory them? F you. I'm not willing to watch this anymore. not willing to just settle, Jesus Christ is going to conquer and defeat. i know it seems completely hopeless right now, but there is hope in even the little conversations or hugs.. i'm willing to make the sacrifice, willing to fight with everything that i have left inside of me.... Jesus, you are going to prevail! you are going to be on top.... we love you and we are your vessels.. show us where you want us to go. lead us... thank you for the amazing things that you've already done and are continuing to do in every little breath.
i love you.
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